Swimming Alphabetically in the Years Before Bud
C was her first tidal surge.
She let him
Decide the course of their
Intermingled waters.
She edited his papers
And he revised her view of love.
She never noticed the grey cloud
That hovered over her
While she was “in love,”
But it disappeared the moment
He wanted to “see others”
Along with her
(He uttered after
Her final editing job.)
She let her lungs exhale
After a long, submerged breath
And pulled the plug,
Draining his shallow
Pool of water.
B was her second surge.
She let him also
Decide the flow of their
Intermingled waters
And joined his search to find
Insulators at a railroad station
In Casper, Wyoming.
She watched water form in his eyes
As he described
The home they would share
In Binghamton, NY.
She felt secure
When he dropped his other girl
Until he dropped her too.
Then she fantasized
About a reunion at Montclair,
And the note on the car from
The young man behind the tree
Renewed her hope
Until he broke her heart
A final time.
Afterwards
Her mother said,
“It would never have worked.”
She became angry
What did her mother know
Of the depths of their love?
She raged until
She sought her reflection
In the water.
Her mother was right;
The quick-tempered, profane
Dancing girl was gone.
In his pond,
Her image had disappeared altogether.
D was the swirling vortex
She met in a guidance office,
A friend of a friend.
She couldn’t see
Where his shore and her
Sea foam met, but still
He said “I love you”
Before her waters began to rise.
Only after the roar
Of his F-15 subsided
Was she able to say it back.
He grimaced, defining “love”
As spontaneous and momentary,
Nothing to take too seriously.
But he kept floating around
And she foolishly thought
She could handle casual
Until she couldn’t,
So she removed her toes
Before the high tide came in.
The moon controlled
Her ebb and flow,
Allowing her insecurities
And their betrayals
To comingle,
Or she would have settled
For a letter,
Remaining submerged
Beneath murky waters.
At the exact moment
She felt her own waves
Beginning to crest,
She fell for a guy
She met in a bar
Six years before.
Bud let her
Teach him how to swim
In the blood
Coursing through her veins,
In the waters
Flowing through her depths.
He loved her fluidity,
Despite knowing
How dark and blue
And unpredictable
Her waterways were,
And how susceptible they were
To lightning and hail.
